In just over 4 weeks’ time I’ll be turning 40!
For years I’d promised myself that my biggest gift to my 40-year-old self would be to have a six-pack again as I did 14 years ago when I first moved to the UK. I held on to the notion that regaining this aesthetic would bring me joy and a deep sense of satisfaction.
Over the years I’ve watched my body and shape go through so many changes. I lost tremendous amount of weight after contracting Lyme Disease and then put on quite a bit of muscle as I recovered and began training again.
I still remember being slightly in awe and horrified at my ever expanding back and bum as I started lifting weights again.
To make matters worse, I was my harshest critic. Constantly nagging myself and asking, “what about the six-pack?” and counting calories as if my life depended on it. Then, a few years ago, I had an epiphany and remember journaling “six-pack be damned, for my 40th I really want a strong and healthy body and to be content in my own skin.”
Thus, begun a journey of self-acceptance and love. I began to understand and embrace the notion that true sexiness has nothing to do with my dress size and everything to do with who I am and the strength I carry within.
With the amount of training that I do, many expect and tell me that I should be leaner or at least more muscular but that’s just not where I am right now, and that’s totally ok. Because besides having to deal with Lyme Disease, I have Fibroids.. ugh!
Fibroids are non-cancerous growths that can develop in and around the womb, and I have 6. I refer to them as the six-pack I never wanted. These 6 have been curing all kinds of increasing mayhem in my body for the past 3 years. Sometimes, like today, I look like I’m a few months pregnant due to water retention.
Over the coming weeks I’ll be sharing a bit more about how they’ve affected me, and my chronic Lyme and how I’ll be dealing with them. But for today I just wanted to share a pic of my strong, fibroid-riddled body as a reminder to myself that I am not defined by my dress size or body shape!
I also want to send a massive shout out to everyone dealing with fibroids, endometriosis, heavy periods, pcos, perimenopause, menopause and all the other invisible illnesses that affect our wombs.