The Vortex of Uncertainty

It’s been a tough couple of weeks. Juggling a full-time job, an intense training schedule and life in general isn’t easy at the best of times so adding uncertainty and anxiety to the mix makes for a pretty frantic rollercoaster ride if I’m honest. 🎢😓

My anxiety has been off the wall lately and it’s partly because I am nearing the sponsorship deadline (IN 18 DAYS😱😱😱) and even if I get the money I’m not sure that I’ll even be able to go this year as the 2020/2021 Antarctic season may be cancelled altogether due to Covid-19. Which means a whole extra year of training and missing out on major life events of friends and family😢.

I feel like I’m stuck in this never-ending 🌪vortex of uncertainty🌪 and can I be totally honest?! I am SICK OF IT! I know I’m not the only one feeling like this. This pandemic has been such a stressful period for all of us, because our brains are not wired for this kind of uncertainty overload. We don’t know when it will end, we don’t know how we feel about it all; and we don’t know if we’ll ever go back to normal. And if you’re anything like me, not knowing is not ok!

So, I decided to do some research on why our brains react as they do to the 🌪vortex of uncertainty🌪 and share what I’ve learnt so far in the hope that it will help you as it is helping me.

Did you know that we are wired to always put safety first? That means that our brain equates safety with certainty and that gives us a sense of balance and peace. In that state of peace our brains are best equipped to proficiently handle whatever situation we’re facing🧠☮️. If that sense of balance and peace is threatened by a constant barrage of uncertainty, our brain loses its ability to maintain the vital connection to our rational mind, which we need to help us make sense of it all, and we can end up feeling constantly and hopelessly overwhelmed.

The good news is that we can help our brains to re-engage with that sense of safety, balance and peace by introducing some simple steps into our daily routine. These are a few that have worked for me:

• BREATHE 🧘🏾‍♀️: A simple technique is just to take a deep big belly breath in, hold it for a few counts, then slowly exhale and repeat.

• EXERCISE💃🏾: Whether that means dancing to your favourite tune like no one is watching, taking a long walk or training for a marathon…simply move that hot body of yours!

• RHYTHM🎶: Create a simple schedule that you won’t have trouble sticking to and then stick it on repeat like it’s your favourite song.

• BOUNDARIES📴: Friends, family, work..they’re all wonderful and can be enjoyed all the more when there are healthy boundaries in place.

• REST💤: I can’t stress enough how integral to wellbeing your sleep and taking time to rest actually is. We simply cannot function without it.

• FOCUS🧠: What are you focusing on and feeding your brain with? Is it true, is it necessary, is it healthy? Simple practises like limiting the amount of news we read/watch can help in limiting anxiety as they limit exposure to possible negative trigger words and scenarios.

• CONNECT:👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Your family, friends, tribe, team, ride or die… whatever you call them, whoever they are; celebrate them when things are going well; support them when things are messy. Those connections are vital and will keep you nourished in times of deepest despair.

I’ve no idea whether this will resonate with anyone but sharing it has reminded me of a few things I need to put into place again to help me navigate these uncertain times. Know that it’s totally ok not to be ok; none of us have this all figured out and some days all you’ll be able to do is stay under the duvet, eat ice-cream and binge on Netflix❤️.

Lessons Learnt

A little over a year ago a new policy of ‘near miss’ and ‘lessons learnt’ reporting was introduced at work. If I’m honest, at first I thought it was all a bit ridiculous and that it would become a time wasting exercise. But as time has passed I have grown to appreciate the valuable lessons learnt from other’s behaviours and have generally improved my safety awareness. 

 A few weeks ago we had winter storm aptly named ‘The Beast from the East’ here in London with temperatures plummeting well below freezing and a permanent snow blanket covering the ground. The city was transformed into a beautiful winter wonderland, although I’m not sure many commuters would agree. I was excited to be going our in perfect Antarctic training weather for my Rollerski lessons and I made sure to layer up before venturing out. Rather than using moisture wicking base layers I used thermal moisture absorbing ones that aren’t meant for sport. This meant that I was nice and toasty when I stood still but as soon as the class started I was sweating buckets. By the end of the session, I was drenched in sweat and still had to travel 1 hour back home in my wet clothes, as there was nowhere open where I could change. Needless to say I caught a dreadful cold, which compromised my immunity and brought on a 2 week Lyme-induced fatigue relapse.

 Anyone who has suffered from Lyme’s disease will testify to the sheer dread one develops at the prospect of being knocked out by one of these fatigue episodes. Life as you know it ceases, and you have no idea when you’ll regain any normalcy or your energy. I remember days when I would sleep for about 16 – 18 hours, and was mostly too tired to even bother to eat. So the thought of having to go through all of that again was absolutely horrible and began to doubt whether I’d be able to go through with the expedition. Thankfully my body is strong and I was able to bounce back in 2 weeks.

I learnt some really valuable lessons from the whole episode.

Firstly, getting my base layers right is of utmost importance. Moisture wicking is of the essence and I’ll definitely be stripping off any excess outer layers in the Antarctic if I need to. I don’t want to be known as the girl that had to call off her expedition just because of some sweat.

Secondly, diet and rest are crucial. In the weeks leading up to becoming ill I had become a little too relaxed in monitoring what I was eating and was consuming too many treats and processed foods as well as more alcohol than I am used to. I had also been neglecting my body’s cries for rest and had been burning the candle at both ends.

 It’s funny that it wasn’t one major thing that caused me to get ill but an accumulation of little things that I chose to ignore along the way.  As a society, we have underestimated the power of rest and taking time to care for our bodies and have embraced mantras such as “work hard, play harder” and “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” for far too long. Whilst I believe that applying dedication and discipline to all one does are of utmost importance, living with Lyme has taught me to bring balance to all that I do and not be ashamed or scared of taking some time out to rest. So I would like to encourage you to take some time for yourself this week and allow yourself to enjoy some well-deserved rest. It doesn’t have to be anything radical, it can be as simple as taking a short quiet walk; or going to bed 15 minutes earlier to start on that book you’ve been meaning to read; or maybe just reclaiming your lunch break and getting away from your desk for a bit. Whatever you choose to do, let this be a week of introducing a little rest and balance back into your life…your body will thank you for it!